BROKEN NEWS: Biden Drops Out
Biden Drops Out of 2024 Race; Endorses Harrisa
In light of President Joe Biden's recent decision to drop out of the 2024 race and endorse Vice President Kamala Harris, the political landscape is rapidly changing. This marks a rare occurrence in American politics, similar to when Lyndon B. Johnson decided not to seek re-election in 1968—though Johnson did it to pursue his passion for surprising people with his, well, Johnson. While others struggle to adjust their campaigns, Cady Concepcion just has to adjust her bra straps.
Cady Concepcion is not a quitter. She vows to stay in the race no matter what. "Quitting? Not on my watch! Besides, I just got new campaign posters printed, and they’re way too fabulous to waste. Who needs naps when you have an endless supply of Code Red Mountain Dew and determination? I don’t quit races; I just occasionally get lost in them. But rest assured, I always find my way back—usually with a chalupa in hand. My dog Taco wouldn’t forgive me if I quit now, and honestly, neither would I."
With Biden out, some candidates might finally get some sleep. Cady Concepcion, on the other hand, is still running on caffeine and sheer willpower. "Dropping out? Not happening. I’ve got too much energy and too many chalupas to quit now."
Why We Need Another Presidential Candidate
Under 80 and Overqualified
In a political landscape where candidates seem to be competing for who can stay awake past dinner, Cady Concepcion stands out. Let's talk about the elephants in the room: age and vitality. While certain candidates might be more familiar with the term "bingo night" than "policy night," Cady brings a youthful energy to the race. She's not planning her campaign around nap schedules or early bird specials. Instead, she's ready to engage in the vigorous debates and late-night discussions that come with leading a nation. She's under 80 and still full of energy, ensuring she can handle the late-night policy debates without the need for a bedtime story and warm milk. While some candidates might be searching for their glasses or misplacing their dentures, Cady is ready to tackle the nation's issues with vigor and a fresh perspective.
The Doggone Truth
Political scandals can be ruff, but you won't find any dog-related controversies here. Unlike certain political figures who may have questionable histories with their pets, Cady's relationship with her dog Taco is purely loving and aboveboard. Taco loves her unconditionally, probably because she's never had to worry about ending up on the dinner menu, despite her yummy-sounding name.
A Safe Bet for Personal Safety
Cady’s popularity ensures her safety. Unlike some who have faced extreme opposition and threats to their physical well-being, Cady remains unscathed and unscarred. No one dislikes her enough to take aim at her ear—or any other body part for that matter. Her likability might not win her the "most controversial figure" award, but it sure makes her a safer choice for leader.
Popular in Recent Polls
In a recent poll of random "friends" of Cady, 4 out of 5 people have heard of her. Please do not argue with us about n-values or if picking people who happen to be at her house being a very random sample of Americans... The poll is legitimate no matter what you say.
About the Candidate
Cady Concepcion is the official write-in candidate for the Apathetic Party. Dedicated to bringing indifference and an unenthusiastic approach to the political sphere, Cady represents the voice of the unvoiced. Join the movement that barely cares!
In a world brimming with politicians making grand promises, Cady stands out by making none. Why? Because expectations lead to disappointment. Instead, Cady offers a refreshing platform of realistic apathy, focusing on the essential non-issues that truly don't matter to the average citizen.
With a campaign slogan of "Whatever Happens, Happens," Cady's vision is clear - a future where the government is as disinterested in change as the people it serves. Imagine a nation where the status quo isn't just maintained, but embraced with a lackluster shrug.
Discover Our Surprisingly Engaging Posters
What happens when a presidential candidate decides to prioritize poster design over household chores? Cady Concepcion's collection of campaign posters, that’s what. Each poster was meticulously crafted during the hours that were probably better spent on cleaning, doing laundry, or any other mundane task that didn’t get done.
These posters are a unique blend of dedication and procrastination, showcasing what can be accomplished when one chooses creativity over daily responsibilities. They are not just visuals; they're a statement - that sometimes, focusing on what you love can lead to unexpectedly inspiring results.
If you’ve ever found yourself putting off chores to work on a passion project, you’ll find something relatable in these posters. Curious to see what dedication mixed with a dash of neglect looks like? Click through to our Posters & Media page for a glimpse into the world of procrastinative creativity.
View Posters